Hello Alesia,

You have snow out there. Must be so cold. But it is perfect for Chrismas season. I envy you for this matter. We never had a white Christmas and probably we will never have.

Hope to you have a nice day !

Ahhhh lobster! You made my mouth water! I love seafood! When we were vacationing in Thailand last September that was all I ate... fish, shrimp, squid, crabs, clams... no lobster tho (kinda expensive in a resort island). I'm sure I will enjoy eating crabs or lobsters with you guys... I know how to get even the tiniest bit of meat out of the small claws. So nothing wasted there.

Sorry, I've been quite busy these last few weeks. I got a lot of catching up to do here. Gosh, you write like the wind! I just can't compete with you in that aspect. Hat off to you, my friend!

By the way, I reposted some pictures in my old entries and posted new ones. I hope they can be viewed this time...

Star 

[protostar]

  There is a gift that the Lord has given to me. I am sometimes able to sense his heart when I see or think about or pray for people. I allow this gift to flow so that I can know how He is loving my wife and so that I can join him in his endeavors. After all,she first belongs to Him and is being loaned to me.

    The reason why I am saying this is because when I see your pictures,the Holy Spirit leaps inside me (if such a thing were possible)in joy. That is one of His fruits after all. When I question Him,He says, "one of God's chosen daughters...I know her and love her." Alesia,you don't know how that brings so much rest to me knowing that you are so precious to our Father.

I like five and six one that you put your both hands on the tree. I feel a lot of hops from the pictures.

I am glad to hear that you got home safe.

I sigh when I see all the pain you have to go through. I sit here speechless when I read the long list of health issues inside your generations. The more I pray and think about it,the more I come to the same answer. One book by Derek Prince,"Blessings and curses"

Blessings!,Tommy

I am glad it's over...I'm glad it had my fairy tale ending

and yes, hope is back

you know, for 3 years I've read your diary, and I know you have alot of health issues....while this may seem an out of the way comment, I am serious...have you ever thought of trying colonics?  The greeks and romans thought highly of that and alot of the conditions you have they thought might be cured with it.  Gary Null is a big proponent of green shakes to achieve the same results and the use of wheat grass juice...

anyway..take care!  be well!

I taught children's church for many years but during all that time the Holy Spirit never allowed me to major on such minor issues. Sure the Messiah is coming back but the times and seasons are not even in His hands.The Father and the son have mutually agreed that it will be a surprise! In keeping with Hebrew tradition,the son goes out to get His bride when the Father says so and it is a glorious time! If the Son doesn't know when, I guess preachers and doomsdayers are being somewhat audacious in their attempt to declare a day. I agree though with you on the fact that a lot of Christianity is fear based. Gospel means good news. Another point would be that good news is only as loved as bad news is exposed. That is what Jesus meant when He said that only the sick need a physician.

Interestingly enough is I never became concerned about blaspheming the Holy Spirit until after I became saved...HMMMM. Is it the devils job to rob us of fear?...Than you for your lengthy response. I have printed it out and will study and pray over it. Keep Smiling Alesia!

Tommy

Hello Alesia,

I never seen this plan before. Thank you for sharing it with me. You have a lot of nature in there. I feel like I am in there as seeing your pics. Even I feel smell something fresh.

Hello Alesia,

Sorry about those things you mentioned above. I have no word to tell you.. Just wanted to tell you you are deserve to get a lot better life than that. You are wise and kind and have a lot of knowledge.. I have leaned from you a lot since I have known you here. If there is any job you can do it at home as using your pc it must be a good help for you.. I hope you can find one. You are always good friend of me and in my prayer.

Continue getting better! My wife stayed home today with sickness. Funny how these things are. May the Lord minister to you as you sleep!

I love red hair! My Aunts had red hair when I was growing up! What did the doctors say about the swelling in your face? Can you fix it? You know what? Even if you cannot...look at the kindness and joy and intelligence in your eyes!!! Did you know (I'm sure you do) that as beautiful as your afghan pieces are...that if you gave them to the Lord...He would trade them in a second so He could have you...you valuable warrior! Blessings! and Peace! Tommy

If it snows than that's not fair to you.You can't have a snow ball fight cuz the snow will stir up the pain in your muscles,right?

Hey Alesia! How nice to 'meet' you finally! Makes me smile... like meeting an old friend again.

These are great! You are very talented. The afghan sunflower is wonderful! Makes me want to learn how to do this too. Never too late, right?

I hope you are feeling better lately. I am quiet busy these past few days. Lots to ctach up with after being away for more than 2 weeks. Oh well, hanging in there. How else would I be able to earn for the next trip?

Sending you positive vibes...

Star

Good morning, Alesia !

I finally meet you ! You look nice with that color of your hair. Thanks for all of pictures you post here. The sunflowers are really pretty. I am looking forward to seeing when it all get together.

Have a nice day !

Your story about the wood furnace was interesting. I probably wouldn't have been able to memorize how it was put together (or taken apart), but I might have been able to draw diagrams to remember. I have a visual memory, and even when I buy books I tend to go for ones with a lot of pictures.

I like myself. It's not that. I just feel a void when I spend to much time alone. Today, I drove for about 5 hours going out to photograph a pumpkin patch. My photo club was going, too, but I didn't make it there in time to meet up with them. I was absorbed in what I was doing most of the time while I was walking around, taking pictures. I stopped by two more places on the way home, and it was all pretty interesting. But by the end of the day I felt lonely. Nobody had shared the experience with me. For some reason I have a strong urge to share things with other people. I have a lot of images in my head from the sights I saw, and  lot of pictures recorded in my camera. I guess that's why I take so many pictures. The urge to share what I do, what I see, with someone. You're right.. I need a soulmate who wants to share my daily life. I have no clue where to find him.

I understand how you need people in your life who you can be yourself around. I guess that's one of the allures of MDD. We gather friends here who accept us as we are. But we need friends in "real life" too.

I didn't know there was a Burlington, Maine. I've always thought I'd like to live in Maine. It sounds pretty rustic, though. I would have to adjust to that. I had to travel on some unpaved roads in North Georgia today because I went to the wrong address.. twice. I'm not used to that. Everything in my world is modern and finished off. But I remember the coal burning furnace in the house my family lived in when we first got to Germany when I was 8 years old. My mom hated all that work to keep it going, but I thought it was pretty cool (or maybe I should say hot!).

Hope you'll have a good day tomorrow.

we bought 8 cord of wood.. we used 7 last year....

hope your headache go's away

Good to hear from you agaain, Alesia. Yes, it's been ages. It's good that you've been healing. I would have a tremendously difficult time spending most of a year alone in my apartment. I'm not sure why I have such a strong need of company, because I have interests in many things which could be done in solitude if it weren't for the tug of loneliness that grips me whenever I'm alone for very long.

It's good you've had visits from your sister and mother, and also your neighbor. A shame your neighbor is moving. Since you're feeling ready to more add people into your life, I hope you'll find good people. I find it's easier to find friends than to find a mate. But then, maybe that's because I've never seemed to have the physical traits that most men want. I suppose that weeds out a good number of the shallow men, which can be seen as a good thing.

Sorry it's taken a while for me to get back to you. I have a lot of e-mail pals who I've neglected for quite a while so I had to work on catching up with them first.

It's great that you've been enjoying taking pictures. Is that Burlington, Vermont, you're talking about? The skyline of the wilderness is so beautiful. I can't imagine seeing nothing but fields and trees for miles, with no signs of human beings.

Good luck with your therapy appointments. I understand about stiffness and pain and walking through it. I do that all the time. It's worth the effort.

Take care,
Kathy

Good morning, Alesia

Thank you for the website but however I can't open it... Sorry.

Today is saturday here. I relly feel relax sitting in fron of the pc Leo is naughty as usal. He want to from me more goody.   I try not to spoil him badly.

The movie " The secret Life of Bees " sounds interesting. Maybe it still haven't come here in Japan. I will check it later.

Yes, Sherry would be backing here after a couple of moths of spending there. I am not a chiristain though. I feel you and Sherry and others are my friends.

I hope you will get feel better more.

Have a nice day !

Hello Alesia,

I am happy to hear that Sherry has an enough strength to get out of hospital. I just hope she will heal soon for mentally physically. I guess it is so hard to get over though. It is Sherry and her loving and kind husband and her lovely children are there for her all the time I am no doubt she will be ok at the end.

Yes, Alesia.. Actaully cookies with maple syrup is my favorite to eat. I never seen any maple cookies from the USA here though. I ate Canadian one several times. Maybe I can find it from your country later on.

Sunflower is my birth flower. To tell you the truth I also got a idea to start to crochet. You started earlier than me. I bought a thread and a crochet-hook the other day .I am thinking the easest one is better for the satrter.

I am glad your back was some better the evening. I hope it will get to reach where it doesn't bother you any more.

  Hello again Alesia,

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all spend more time considering things like the blue jay instead of dealing with issues that are so much more difficult in life......thanks for bringing a piece of nature into our conversation; I know we have a mutual love for all of God's Creation.
  You have a blessed day my friend .

Hello Alesia,

It is amazing golden,isn't it ? The shape of it looks like a phenix to me. Beuatiful ? I never seen this kind of tree before. Thank you !

Have a good rest Alesia.

I always enjoy seeing your pics and story you tell me.

I hope you can get your groceries and benadryl for sure Alesia. It sounds like you are really making headway on the beautiful afghan. My favorite color is blue lol...your snowflake afghan sounds really beautiful.  I will keep you in my prayers and hope you feel better soon...I am having a hard time the last few days fighting fatigue. Have to up my mag for a few days. Lets hope all the brighter days will be more and more :)

Peace and blessings

Michelle

Love you Alesia...(((((ALESIA)))

Wow, Wisewatcher wrote something truly beautiful...

[HurtingTruth]

Alesia,

It sounds like you really do have an awesome project going on. You really are creative . Ya know, I was thinking a snowflake afghan would be pretty. Just thinking about that book on crystals lol. It would though be pretty cool to have snowflakes of all different shapes and sizes and colors on different squares with different positive words for each one of them.Take care, and hopefully things will continue to smooth over for you. I know you are working towards an awesome goal and doing it all in stride. Do you find the magnesium with the ibuprofen to help really well together? Anyways, I find the dark to be very peaceful. I also love it when it is dark and you are outside when it is raining. I love sunlight, but bright light always has hurt my eyes. I don't know why. TTYL

Michelle

I need to relearn to crochet a basic chain stitch, last time I did it got all kinked lol. I cannot wait to see your pattern.

I am sorry you have been having trouble with headaches. Benadryl is an amazing thing it seems for so many things. I never really knew that it helped some types of headaches though, but since it helps you it is good that you have some weapon against the headaches. Congrats on almost finishing your crochet project. Wishing you much peace, and a hopefully headache free day.

Michelle

Afghan Puzzle? How does it look like? Coz you see, for me, everything in Afghan is a big puzzle that is difficult to solve.

So I'm back! I had a great time in Dubai and Thailand. I needed that. Now back to reality. At least it is cooler here now. Today (after the sandstorm yesterday) is just 27^oC. But the dryness in the air made my lips and face chapped again as soon as I arrived. Gotta need that moisturizer more often now. I have not touched it when in Thailand. Already I am missing the tropical climate and sceneries!

I posted a couple of pics about my travels. Hope you will enjoy a glimpse of my part of the universe.

Got lots of catching up here at MDD... till next time...

Star

TREEEEEEEEEEEEEE'SSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!
<3
OH MY GOD TAHST AMAZING TREE'S ARE THE BEAUTIFULEST PART OF NATURE!!!

:)

Sometimes we are the last ones to see ourselves as we really are.Your diary portrays something excellent and beautiful to the eyes of the readers yet you have uncovered something about yourself through these pictures and through your words. It is a Thursday and it is the day you have chosen as a time of rest. Now as you lie down never draw your mind to a blank but only let it be stilled to that of a trusting child. (We encourage the mind never to be emptied because in that place even the most innocent child is subject to thoughts altogether opposite of what is innocent)

  Put aside your need to be reaching out and to forever be needing to look out for the others (even your Mom) and remember that there is no one person like you on the planet. You are unique, and loved and yearned for by your creator. As you rest,consider that even as you walked amongst the gardens of living flowers and through the blossoms and variegated colors of leaves of different plants around your home that you were being watched.not by a sinister force or crouching,menacing entity of hate.You are being watched by a supreme source of Love. This one sees you as the precious flower.Your diary betrays that you have often wished it were so. Your pictures always seem to capture plants that are healthy.He whose heart breaks for the sufferings of mankind walks in the garden of your life fully aware of your pain, aware, even of your most recent headache. In that time of repose and rest,consider your life and all that it represents.The sorrows, (a lost child)the brokenness(a weak ex-husband who took out his grief in anger and selfish immoral control)and your rising up(taking the reigns and setting new boundaries).

  There is a metamorphosis that must take place. It is inside you. Men have proven to be untrustworthy in your sight.There is a strong wall and a sure stand and you are safer....but He that walks in the garden of your life is a Spirit unlike any man. His touch is gentle.His motives are pure.His every thought is toward you. You are his precious garden prepared for his every delight. He sees you as beautiful and desirable. He is fully aware of every anxious thought in your heart and every bitter herbal package of words that have come your way. As you rest and think,let your mind consider that as you draw near to Him,He will draw near to you. When He arrives...hand over the reigns of your life into his care.If you have done this before,do it again and again. Hand over your heart as often as you feel the need to,every broken and abandoned part.Every healthy and rejoicing part. All of it. When it is returned it will be healthier.It will be less fragmented.

  And now dear one,as you offer your heart to the true Aslan,do not forget to hand over your own perceptions of yourself to Him. If you have seen yourself as less than beautiful,less than loved,less than the woman that you ever hoped to be and your life less than you dreamed it would be...hand these over.In these thoughts have you struck yourself,You have torn your own heart! Self hate deep inside a soul causes more autoimmune disorders than we realize.Hand these over.

This is my prayer for everybody.That they would know their broken state and then come to know more each day the very source of their healing there where the rivers both begin and end.If in these words I have become too preachy then forgive me.Good intentions are not evidence of truth but the fruit is. I have some of this fruit and I know you do too! I could have summarized this whole note by saying don't forget about yourself today...but how too common!? and inpersonal...Regards!

you are so lucky!!

i live in florida. we don't get changing seasons or snow or falling leaves or anything. it's pretty much just hot all year round.

and it sucks cause i used to be from new york, so it's not like i just never experienced it, i used to know it, so it just makes me miss it and hate the one season we have ten times more.

i wish we had autumn. that's my favorite time of year.

your pictures look great, by the way. they are so beautiful.

Once again,these pictures show a blaze of different colors ,all exquisite.The reds are so royal and passionate.The golden yellows so depicting of the personality of Autumn. Ok ,Morning Dove...the web site for the Immanuel version of Theophostics is:www.kclehman.com/. I have heard her teachings and I was simply stunned. I have also been exposed to his Lectures and have had to call out the guards to hold me down lest I fly away with amazement,joy and humor all at the same time. With a simple registration process one can have access to all their notes and I think the cd's or videos are available at a cost. My first most tangible session occurred in a group setting where the majority of the counseling done is between G-d and the counselee. (I use this phrase in deference to you). The success rate for healing is phenomenal. As in anything good,this process is grossly misunderstood and in some cases these methods are angrily opposed...but I have become a better husband in a very short time and my wife cannot deny the permanence of the changes (all of us carry luggage from the past). This methodology represents one of more than a few tools for the health of the human spirit.May your ravens and Cats find water. May your mother find a world of no shouting. (why have I written this?)May your sister find salt and hope. May your muscles find the fingers of G-d. May your evenings be safe and may laughter dance on the tip of your spirit as you rejoice that you have made it thus far with not so many scars that you were tempted to give up and count it all a loss.

May our words continue to weave tapestries of journeys that have inside their very natures the boundless energy and desire to be merciful to others embedded inside their diaries of life.

Thank you, Alesia !

I saw paranormal picture on your entry this morning. Yes, it is so pink. I never seen that before. Strange and mysterious...

Thank you for so much beautiful pics ! No, I don't think I have peeked that paranormal pics yet. Where I can find it ? I need which entry in your dairy I need to visit. I have been reading your dairy though. Maybe before I have gotten know you ?

Yes, we have autumn here,too. But yours sounds really nice !

You haevn't done proper Hallowe'en for a long time ! Why not this year.. We both can be witches. hehe

Very nice.......makes me want to walk in there and see if there are any grouse to flush...........

oh my I love taking pictures of trees ,yours is beautiful.
Thank-u so much I was worried about her.Thank you for taking the time to let me know.Yes Randy is my life.
Elizabeth

Hello Alesia,

I have never seen milkweed before. So this is first time for me to see.  As you said the first one came out to be so beautiful !

Thank you for sharing those pics with me.

Well, dogs are definitely can smile at you like human being. My aunt refused this idea until she started taking care of Leo. Now she have leanred from him " Dogs can smile ! "

Since the dog we had that time was so strong one. I never got a problem with another dog as taking him for walk.( When he was young someone probably my father took him for walk. )Usually when we met another dog they were always tried to be in distance from him. That's why we had no problem. I remember his name was " Peth " . Maybe this is not correct to spell his name. He didn't have Japanese name. I still don't know who named him that way. He was mix and having a Tosa dog's DNA.They are usually used as a fighting dog.

Have a nice day !

Hey A!

Yeah they aired the Extreem Makeover lastnight. :D It was really cool. Westchester is only about 15 mins from my house. :) It was so cool watching it on tv lastnight, the family really deserved it.

Im not sure yet when i'll be able to get my own apartment. Ive just now started on SSI forms, and i had a mental evaluation to try and get a medical card so i can pay for the meds i keep running out of because im just on samples. Yeah i really like counseling, it makes me feel alot better to go in and vent about whatever i want. At first it was one of the hardest things ive ever done. But now its something i look forward to.

How are you doing? I hope good. :)

Thank you so much for saying that! I am really trying to be strong about things. But its really hard. All i feel like doing is crying. I just have to keep in mind all the good things thats coming to me.  And let that motivate me to keep moving on when i feel like letting go.

Things are getting better. I just can't seem to feel better though. I feel really sick rightnow. I feel depressed. I can't stand babysitting. My sister really upset me today so i am standing my ground and telling her that i am not going to babysit for her anymore. My counselor told me to stop babysitting, and let her throw her fit and get mad about it. And for me to not worry about it. I really like my counselor, but sometimes i take her words wrong, and get upset. because she says things in ways i don't understand. :(

Love you! Thank you so much for the comment, ive missed you! Hope your doing okay! I love your pictures, they are so beautiful! Just like you!

Love, Metallee  :P

Breath takingly beautiful.

I have just reached the office an hour ago and now sitting here checking my mails and drinking blck coffee before I start my work. Had a quick breakfast of cheese sandwich but it felt quite raw in my mouth. It's good to hear that you are doing quite fine despite your health problems. Good to hear how others sees the positive sides of you that you have changed into a better & fit person. Such a lovely compliment, really. It gives you this positive energy as well when someone said that to you! Happy to hear this. I want to take few shots of pics yesterday, but it was raining hard and today it is raining still. But never mind about that - there are better days ahead. So, I wish you a good morning greeting from Germany and I think over there it is over midnight, right? If yes, then I wish you a good sleep and sweet dreams. I'll see you again soon. Been missing writing here, but I have really a busy week. *sigh*

Wow Alesia,

What a an awesome and powerful dream. Salt...hmmm weird :)

I have dreamt of salty foods and woke up craving it before though. Strange the things we dream sometimes. I cannot really remember my dreams anymore. Back in 2002 I took a class that dealt with a dream journal and I had to keep a journal as part of the course. I cannot remember the name of the course anymore. It was a psychology class. Have a happy Sunday...

Luv

Michelle

Good morning Alesia !

It is interesting dream ! I think you are now strong enough to do anything. You always having a salt in your dream. It is more interesting.

Thank you for your words. It is true,every second counts when a soul is involved and we are only giving from the overflow, so to speak. My wife found strong energy from a smoothie drink she had obtained from a local health food store. Upon her second visit to this place,she questioned the saleslady as to which ingredients would be giving her body such energy.The Lady replied' "That's easy!". "It is the Maca and the hemp oil that gives you the energy!" The remaining ingredients served other purposes,mangosteen,raw chocolate etc (everything was raw).As far as my story goes (the entry you read)...It is page nine of perhaps a mini novel. I hope your day goes well!

Hi Alesia,

I am glad you found a pair of shoes and sneakers that fit. I have to go to Payless to when I do get shoes usually unless I end up getting men's shoes because I sometimes wear a 12 in women's

I am weird, but I hate shoes. I have worn the living daylights out of some fake crocs I have that now look like balled tires. I have a nice pair of white leather reeboks in the closet that I got for an excellent deal for 15 bucks at Meijers last spring. My feet get too hot and feel uncomfortable in most shoes. I really would like to get a pair of leather loafers but the tie up style. They sometimes make them in women's too.  I am so glad you got to spend a lot of time with your friend. It is always good to do that. TTYL...

Michelle

I am speechless. I will never have a way with words as well as this no matter how hard I try. Every single bit of it is comforting. I hope you sent it...It is beautiful. It speaks to me too, even though it was for your friend.

Alesia, your photography skills are amazing. These flowers look like art to me. It is absolutely breathingtaking to look at these. Now, when winter comes I can see your photography ....and look forward to spring and summer...

Peace

michelle

WOW, all the spices and henna mixed did a brilliant show upon your crown.

WOW...I am amazed..how did you get the pictures so well of the top of your head...I would drop my camera!!

You rock